Jasper Schultz

Before reading this following scene, you should know three things:

My phone ringtone is the theme from 30 Rock, and I suck at onomatopoeia.
I ordered all my this year’s family Christmas presents online, but they haven’t been delivered yet.
This actually happened. I didn’t even change the names to protect the innocent.

[SIX FORTY-THREE AM]
My (very loud) phone: Diddle-diddle  BWAH! …(daddun dun, [...]

As I hurtle frighteningly closer to my 29th birthday, I sometimes fear that I may be getting “old”. I don’t know at what point (if there is one) a person suddenly falls out of touch with the youth demographic and becomes a doddering old twit, but it’s probably coming. And the worst part is I [...]

For the love of all things popular and cultury, can everyone just shut up about Susan freaking Boyle? I’m sick of hearing about her, and I’m imposing a worldwide ban on the mention of her name…
…right after I’m done talking about her right now.
I get it, she can sing. But lots of people can sing! [...]