From the category archives:

things that are helpful

Renee ZellweGRR

May 27, 2010

Renée Zellweger: she’s always squinting, am I right? For years now; just like every other person with working eyeballs (who, unlike some successful actresses with a penchant for unflatteringly harsh bob haircuts, occasionally allow them to rise to the surface of our skulls), I have been wishing that Renée Zellweger would open her eyes more. [...]

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Cosmo Hates Your Penis

May 2, 2010

You know when you see old people shout back at the television when they see something that makes them angry, and you kind of shake your head at them because oh, old people are just so silly? I’m about to go one better. I am going to shout back at a magazine. The magazine in question [...]

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I Like To Move It, Move It

April 22, 2010

They say moving house is one of the most stressful events a human being can endure. I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this comparison – I wouldn’t exactly put a change of address on the same level as, say, renal failure – but it is indeed a stressful time. I should know, I’m almost finished [...]

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Assisted Living

April 2, 2010

When I get so old and decrepit that I need an assortment of machines to keep me alive, I don’t think I’ll notice the difference. I’m already hooked up to various pieces of equipment and technology; every single one of which is programmed to take care of various elements of my day-to-day existence. That scene [...]

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Standing On The Sidelines, Waving and Grinning

November 10, 2009

I have been single for a long time. My whole life, in fact. A combination of coming out of the closet late, embarking on a career that seriously hindered my ability to date (a career that is thankfully over), and just being a shy, nervous twit are all contributing factors to this. I bring up my [...]

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I Don’t Want To Be An Aquapilot

September 24, 2009

I had one of the most terrifying experiences of my life on Tuesday night when my car ‘aquaplaned’ and went sideways. I was driving home from Mr. Sparkle’s surprise birthday party (where I totally missed the cue to yell “SURPRISE!” – All I could do was join in at the end with a weird, vowel-heavy [...]

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Mother Frogging Sock Hugger

September 14, 2009

Last weekend, my housemate Wolverine decided to set a challenge for all members of The Ponderosa: No swearing. For the entire weekend. From Friday night until Monday morning, Wolverine, Jean-Paul and myself were to be a clean-mouthed household. I feel I am to blame for this, even though it was Wolverine’s suggestion. She had been watching me repeatedly fail a [...]

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things that are helpful

Renee ZellweGRR

Cosmo Hates Your Penis

I Like To Move It, Move It

Assisted Living

Standing On The Sidelines, Waving and Grinning

I Don’t Want To Be An Aquapilot

Mother Frogging Sock Hugger

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