From the category archives:

things that are embarrassing

It’s Not Easy

July 6, 2010

This morning I decided I would walk to work, under the heading “cursory health conscious behaviour”. Normally I couldn’t give rat’s date about exercise, and simply maintain my ability to wear all my current clothes by (occasionally) regulating what I eat. However, working in Fitzroy puts me in close proximity to a dazzling array of food outlets; [...]

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I’ll Have an R for Rejected

July 1, 2010

What kind of a horrible world do we live in where being a carry-over champion on Wheel of Fortune means nothing? That’s the reality I have to face as I start to accept the fact that I may never hear from the producers of the new SBS game show, Letters and Numbers, for which I auditioned almost [...]

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I Understand How BP Feels

June 18, 2010

Just now, not eight minutes ago, I spilled coffee on myself. (Normally, when stories like this are told, the time frame is fluid: the other day, last week, lately; but I am being 100% time accurate. This actually just happened. It’s almost like live-blogging, except not at all interesting.) Usually whenever I spill something on [...]

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I Like To Move It, Move It

April 22, 2010

They say moving house is one of the most stressful events a human being can endure. I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this comparison – I wouldn’t exactly put a change of address on the same level as, say, renal failure – but it is indeed a stressful time. I should know, I’m almost finished [...]

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These Boots Are Made For Potentially Serious Injuries

March 25, 2010

I recently took up what can only be described as one of the most impractical activities known to man. This is what I do: I wear heavy boots with long, stainless steel blades running along the bottom of them. I then attempt to remain upright on these beknifed boots while skittering across a body of water that is being [...]

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It Puts iRose in Every Cheek

September 28, 2009

As I hurtle frighteningly closer to my 29th birthday, I sometimes fear that I may be getting “old”. I don’t know at what point (if there is one) a person suddenly falls out of touch with the youth demographic and becomes a doddering old twit, but it’s probably coming. And the worst part is I [...]

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Magic Mail

August 27, 2009

Remember the big rule of Christmas Eve when you were a kid? NO sneaking out of bed in the middle of the night to try and catch Santa Claus in the act? Because if you do happen to see him, then you won’t get any presents? That’s how I feel about the postman. I leave [...]

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McErection

July 31, 2009

Twice now, I have been served my McDonalds drive-thru coffee by the most ridiculously attractive man I have ever seen in a poxy brown sun-visor. For a lot of people, this would be a good thing. A good perve is considered, by the greater population, to be wonderful. Women can laze away hours staring at [...]

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← Previous Entries

things that are embarrassing

It’s Not Easy

I’ll Have an R for Rejected

I Understand How BP Feels

I Like To Move It, Move It

These Boots Are Made For Potentially Serious Injuries

It Puts iRose in Every Cheek

Magic Mail

McErection

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