From the category archives:

things I don’t get

I’ll Have an R for Rejected

July 1, 2010

What kind of a horrible world do we live in where being a carry-over champion on Wheel of Fortune means nothing? That’s the reality I have to face as I start to accept the fact that I may never hear from the producers of the new SBS game show, Letters and Numbers, for which I auditioned almost [...]

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Did She Just Melt My Popsicle?

June 19, 2010

I am never sure what to make of Katy Perry. One minute I think she’s just awful. The next minute? Cute as a button. One song I’ll hate, and one song I can’t help but bounce along to. Sometimes it’s actually the same song. She says stuff as a judge on American Idol and I [...]

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I Got Carried Away, Read Me My Miranda Rights, Who Are These Charlotte-ains, And…Something Something Samantha is a Slut

June 15, 2010

It’ll come as a surprise to absolutely no one to learn that I am very well acquainted with bad movies. Some of my favourite movies are bad movies. There are even people who would argue that ALL my favourite movies are bad movies, but they’re philistines. Hmph. However, no amount of familiarity with tragic cinema [...]

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Not Enough Gays In The Week

May 17, 2010

This weekend saw not one, but two gay rights rallies being held in Melbourne. On the same day. One was for gay marriage rights; one appeared to be a generic rally against homophobia (which, really: It’s a good thing all homophobes are ignorant and stupid, otherwise they’d have the forethought to assemble when we’re all [...]

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Defending Your Right To Say It

May 4, 2010

It’s not often that I get opinionated in anything even remotely resembling a serious fashion, but this whole Logies/Wil Anderson/Catherine Deveny thing is just getting on my nerves. First of all, (and this explains why I said “getting on my nerves” and not “I’M SO INCENSED” or “I WANT TO OVERTURN A VEHICLE!”) I don’t [...]

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Cosmo Hates Your Penis

May 2, 2010

You know when you see old people shout back at the television when they see something that makes them angry, and you kind of shake your head at them because oh, old people are just so silly? I’m about to go one better. I am going to shout back at a magazine. The magazine in question [...]

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Voice of Dis Scent

March 30, 2010

My office smells. Don’t worry, it isn’t of anything sinister. It smells like the fragrance I wear (the name of which I will not divulge for dignity-saving purposes. Some male celebrities just have nice fragrances, okay? Shut up). The reason my office smells like this is because of a small breakdown I had while trying [...]

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Hey, I Was Enjoying That

February 19, 2010

“Well, at least he died doing something he loved.” This is a platitude often bandied about when someone dies in some kind of tragic, extreme activity/sports related accident.  It is supposed to make people feel better; knowing that while they’ve lost a friend/relative/lover/particularly popular celebrity, at least that person went out at his or her own [...]

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Crime and Pun-ishment

February 6, 2010

For the most part, I am an optimist. I like to see the world as a pleasant place, full of goodness and light. Unfortunately, there are people out there who don’t share my view. Furthermore, they are constantly angered – threatened, even – by my positivity, and seek every opportunity to destroy me. One of [...]

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It Isn’t Called ‘Cheetah Week’

January 22, 2010

Sometimes there is such a thing as too much media spin. One of the perks of my job (and I use the term “perks” about as loosely as Ke$ha uses the term “singer”) is the random assortment of media releases I get from the most bizarre of places. I don’t know how my name ended up [...]

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