* But not THAT tale of concussion, stupid girls and vampires – this one predates that one by eight years. Also, it is real. This story was originally called “Shut Up, Stephanie Meyer”.
Three Unexpected Twists
In the weeks that followed, I kissed Bella a lot. As frequently as possible in as many places as possible. Wait, let [...]
* But not THAT tale of concussion, stupid girls and vampires – this one predates that one by eight years. Also, it is real. The working title of this story was actually “Shut Up, Stephanie Meyer”.
The Beginning
When I was fifteen, I was very much like Drew Barrymore. My voice was slightly grating, I never knew [...]
Before reading this following scene, you should know three things:
My phone ringtone is the theme from 30 Rock, and I suck at onomatopoeia.
I ordered all my this year’s family Christmas presents online, but they haven’t been delivered yet.
This actually happened. I didn’t even change the names to protect the innocent.
[SIX FORTY-THREE AM]
My (very loud) phone: Diddle-diddle BWAH! …(daddun dun, [...]
As a young thing growing up in Queensland, I never had to explain anything Queenslanderish, because we were all Queenslanders. We all said the word “pool” with about three ‘o’s too many, we all referred to scho(ooo)ol bags as “ports” which we placed in “portracks” outside our classrooms, and none of us had any concept [...]